Photo by 愚木混株 cdd20 on Unsplash

You want Gen X customers or clients? Take the time to understand them. To reach them, adopt two strategies: authenticity and acknowledgment.

If you betray a Gen X – or fail to value Gen X patronage – a Gen Xer will turn his or her back on you, badmouth you, or pretend you don’t exist. After a Gen X experiences even the suspicion you are playing games or the hint that you don’t really care or understand, rekindling a relationship is impossible. They will, in plaid flannel and torn jeans, walk away with both middle fingers held high.

Because of parental and societal treatment, Gen X, those born between 1965 and 1980, trust no one and feel forever negated. For this article, for example, I searched for images to face pictures of knee surgeries, Millennials, and Boomers. Lots of grey-haired grandparents. Models in skinny jeans. A Model T Ford. No. Wow.

Members bond over these shared experiences. Authentic marketing is one key to reaching Gen Xers. You must earn trust – and continue to be honest in your product, service, offers, and customer care, to keep that trust. Add to your authentic communication indices of personalization. Recognize each Gen X customer or client as an individual – be interested in them, recognize their loyalty, notice their preferences – and you will make and continue to make the sale.

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

– Tyler Durden from Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club

Experts recognize Gen X children were abandoned (no one home, no one cared, left to their own devices) or rejected (never good enough, not right, not special, not worth it). And that treatment continues as Gen X is the ignored or forgotten generation, rejected, and abandoned as the media agenda focuses on Boomers and Millennials. Perhaps this treatment results from Gen X having less members than other generations. Gen X numbers only about 65 million people. Liberal abortion policies and birth control methods, shifting to better healthcare, resulted in Gen X having fewer members than previous – and post – generations. Experts also mark Gen X along a shorter, 16 year timeframe while most generations span 20 years. Whatever the reason, Gen Xers are not happy about it.

The latchkey generation, whose Boomer and Lost Gen parents did not spare the rod or spoil the child, Gen Xers suffered unreported child abuse in a society that believed parents had the right to discipline in any way they wanted. Discipline ranged from spankings to worse – and included denial of food, imprisonment, denial of healthcare, or eviction. Over the past ten years as a personal coach, 75% of my 53 Gen X clients have disclosed experiencing physical or sexual abuse. (Yes, those seeking coaching may be more likely to be seeking help – but the percentage is still disconcerting.)

At school, not only would teachers and administrators ignore or avoid issues of parental abuse and neglect, but also would characterize Gen X students along Breakfast Club lines. As character Brian Johnson says:

“You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms with the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain, and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.”

That is the Gen X experience. They have been generalizations and characterizations as diametric opposites: dumb/smart, pretty/ugly, athletic/spaz. Worse, pedagogists of the time had only started to identify learning disabilities and autistic characteristics. No matter the intelligence, they labeled autistic Gen Xers troublemakers and discipline problems. They forced those with dyslexia into the “special” class. And no one – no one – was interested in assessing a Gen X child for mental illness.

Gen X was the first to live with high divorce rates and single-parent households – and the first modern generation where both parents had to work to support a household. Alone, Gen X drowned in danger. Boomer generation parents held to the self-reliance and privacy precepts – even if you are suffering abuse. Shut up (go to your room, this conversation is for adults, don’t ask questions) and deal (take care of your siblings, you forgot your homework paper too bad, we don’t have the money for your hobbies) was the message for Gen Xers. Sex was something our free-love, hippy parents enjoyed, but was to be feared during the AIDS epidemic. Cold War tensions between the Soviet Union and the United States kept Gen Xers wondering when the bomb was coming. Gen Xers remember the gas station lines during the energy crisis – and the parental conversations when daddy was laid off, again (Gen Xers have lived through three recessions: the Dot-com bubble, the financial crisis, and the pandemic.) Financially conservative (fearful) parents and grandparents who had survived the Great Depression, along with the threat of zombies, Skynet, or alien invasion, kept Gen Xers constantly on edge.

High ACE scores (adverse childhood experience measurements) resulted in Gen X having worse health than prior generations. With higher instances of alcohol and drug abuse, they also suffer more anxiety and depression. Even with their focus on and opportunities for exercise, better nutrition, and even bio hacking, Gen Xers suffer with obesity, chronic inflammation, and elevated blood pressure and cholesterol (what experts call physiological dysregulation).

Gen X also is the first generation in history to not do better economically than their parents. Many Gen X have filed bankruptcy, lost their homes – and almost 40% have more debt than savings! We cringe at every commercial on cable and paid television: I subscribed to avoid commercials! Why am I still paying? College costs skyrocketed for Gen Xers. Where mom and dad paid out of pocket for higher education, Gen X was burdened with mortgage-sized college loans. Speaking of mortgages: Boomers purchased a first home for what Gen X paid for their first clunker cars. Many Gen Xers entered the job market during or after the recession – forcing Gen X to become the first “boomerang” generation forced to move back in with Boomer, critical parents. Gen X has no faith in social security and fears never being able to retire.

Even with high education rates, Gen X members struggled to settle in careers or find lucrative employment – and often launched their own businesses. Gen X’s fierce independence and “I’ll do it myself” attitude is both a blessing and a curse. Gen Xers appreciate work-life balance, but rarely have it. Resentment builds. Boomers promised Gen X this elusive American Dream (do well in school, don’t do drugs, wear a condom, and you’ll be rich and have a delightful house), but Gen Xers have quietly experienced a nightmare while hovering in middle-management, waiting for the Boomer boss to retire.

The result is serious distrust in authority. Gen X is overwhelmingly politically independent (over 44%). In fact, Gen Xers are independent in many areas, with grunge and alternative, punk, rap and hip-hop, the choices over popular or traditional musical genres. We’re angry and we are going to tell you about it. Gen Xers are disgusted with the Boomer hypocrisy and nauseated by the Millennial whining. We practice less organized religion than our parents – but more than our children. We are more educated than our parents and better critical thinkers than our children. We’re less patriotic than mom and dad – but more country-loving than junior. Gen Xers were the first to develop and use computers – but struggle with coding and find social media burdensome and disheartening. Gen X won’t create posts – but they will surf the web long into the night. With characteristic fierce independence, Gen X seeks do-it-yourself YouTube videos.

As parents, Gen X broke the abuse and neglect cycle with caring approaches to parenting, choosing emotionally validating approaches and conversation over violence. Gen X fought for evaluation of learning disabilities and opportunities for differently gifted children (athletes, artists…). Gen X raged against religious and political dogma and encouraged their children to decide for themselves. Yet, Gen X suffers painful gaps between themselves and their Millennial / Gen Y or Gen Z children. Not everyone deserves a trophy – but with the urge to change parental approaches, we gave each child one, anyway.

Amid all their personal challenges, Gen X is said to be the sandwich generation: burdened with contemporaneously caring for their children and their parents. Those Millennials who hoisted student debt onto themselves and their Gen X parents, and who remain underemployed, move back in to the Gen Xers home – while the Gen X is running grandma to medical appointments and handling grandpa’s investments. Gen X continues to take care of everyone, including themselves.

This generational history has created consumers who are cynical, anti-establishment, critical, logical, distrusting, and tough as nails.

To appeal to Gen X, note these key approaches:

1. Be authentic. 85% of Gen Xer say authenticity is the most important trait when selecting a brand.
2. Hang with them. Focus on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Gen X will also seek information in print – so don’t be afraid to hoist a billboard or run an ad in that local circular. And email is your best bet (after you obtain their okay to email!) Your messaging can be humourous or ironic (this is the Monty Python generation), but always honest. Be nerdy, weird, risky – and quote Star Wars or Star Trek. Use nostalgia (75% of Gen X consumers seek a sign of connection through nostalgia). Recognize Gen X’s experience. But tread lightly: If you pour it on too thick, Gen X smells a poser.
3. But don’t invade their personal space. Don’t text a Gen Xer unless she tells you it’s okay. Don’t use their personal information without authority. Don’t call if the Gen X told you to email. Don’t interrupt personal time. Gen Xers have sacrificed enough and they will be and will remain offended if you violate their space or privacy. These are people who climbed out of second-story windows at 3 am for some peace and freedom. They will do anything necessary to maintain independence and freedom.
4. Disassociate from the machine. If you want a perfect point of product or service differentiation to reach Gen X, be the antithesis of the establishment. However, you can target Gen X’s personal values for freedom, independence, self-sufficiency, and family. They are also fiercely engaged in social change initiatives – and saving animals.
5. Acknowledge them. Show you care by recognizing the social, career, health, and economic challenges Gen Xers face. 54% of Gen Xers feel ignored in marketing. Ask them what they think using polls or feedback invitations. They have great ideas because they often think outside the box.
6. Give them information, not hype. Teach them. Give them facts and functionality. Fluff is a sign to Gen X that you are full of crap. If you provide information to help a Gen X install it, use it, or fix it themselves, without demanding they do something for you in return (they’ve had enough of that, Dad), you are a friend.
7. Loyalty and customer recognition programs. Show that you care. No one else has. If you show you consider a Gen X important and valuable, you’ll win over a Gen X faster than you can say Ridgemont High. (Over 70% of Gen Xers report loyalty programs influence brand selection.)
8. Provide stellar customer service. Don’t waste a Gen Xers time. And do not negate a Gen Xer’s personhood. They don’t want your chat helper bot – and they don’t want to hear there’s nothing you can do. They’ve heard that since birth. Say: I’ve got you. Your patronage is vital to us. We care. You are important. We will fix it. You are safe here.
9. Police your reviews. Gen Xers research before buying. If your reviews are less than five-star, Gen X is likely to move on – no matter how much you protest and swear. The word on the street says you are crap. End of conversation.

You’re still here? It’s over. Go home. Go.